Santa slashers are a staple of the Christmas horror film and it is no surprise to find that our killer in this film is appropriately attired in a jolly ol’ Saint Nick costume as he sets about working his way through a neighbourhood with a pair of trusty garden shears. Women are skewered and men are castrated in nearly equal measure, so at least he’s an equal opportunities killer.
Rachel Kimmel (Nunes) comes home for Christmas to visit her nan and is roped into assisting a neighbour with her Christmas decorations, completely unaware that there is a killer on the loose. In turn, she manages to convince two of her friends to help her out and, when the neighbour goes out, the girls begin snooping around the house. It isn’t long before the killer turns up and the usual shenanigans begin in earnest.
There is a twist woven into the plot that is both baffling and genius at the same time, but unfortunately, it doesn’t save the film from itself. With Christmas horror, there is a certain level of absurdity that needs to be either addressed with subtle comedy or wiped out entirely as with Black Christmas. Instead, All Through the House manages neither.
Where there should be some humour injected, even black humour, they try the darker path without success. The acting is poor and for every time you find yourself slagging off the characters for the decisions they make, you’ll groan just as much at the coincidences (or poor scriptwriting) that allow events to move along.
We try and find the best in any kind of artistic creation, but when it turns out this inept, it’s difficult to offer much in praise. Even the ending is so head-scratchingly unexplainable that you honestly wonder why you just spent nearly ninety minutes of your life watching this.
If you were fifteen, you might enjoy the mild titillation considering there are two shower scenes but when the same shock gags are used too many times – there’s somebody under the bed – then it loses all its appeal. If you want to see a cat nibbling on a severed penis, you’re covered. Desperate to see a cake used as a weapon, you’ve got it. If you want a well-crafted horror film, look elsewhere.
Our advice is to not open this until, well, ever!
ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: TODD NUNES / STARRING: ASHLEY MARY NUNES, JESSICA CAMERON, MELYNDA KIRING / RELEASE DATE: NOVEMBER 21ST