INDEPENDENCE DAY; GODZILLA; THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW; 2012, director Roland Emmerich really likes to blow sh*t up. So in a move that will surprise nobody, Universal are courting him to helm their big screen adaptation of ASTEROIDS.

Yup, you heard correctly – ASTEROIDS, as in the 1979 Atari arcade game…

Charming? Yes. A movie waiting to happen? Erm…

So why do studios continue to buy the rights to stuff like this? There’s no story to adapt, no mythology to explore… all you have is a name, and thinking in terms of brand recognition surely this carries little to no sway with the general public. Case in point: last year Universal (again) went into production on BATTLESHIP, based on the popular board game – and, in desperation, had to throw in an alien invasion storyline to spice it up. The game has existed since the 1900’s, and in all its incarnations has remained monster-free. Until now. Why not just make an alien invasion movie with a battleship in it, save themselves a few quid and call it something else? Trust us, ‘nobody’ would care, nor notice. It’s just another example of Hollywood’s frivolity when it comes to throwing money at tent-pole movies.

So what to do with ASTEROIDS then? Here’s what they’ve come up with…

In keeping with the beloved game, the movie will tell the tale of a post-apocalyptic Earth ravaged by a catastrophic asteroid event some years earlier.

Let’s have a look at the game again…

Riiight. I see what they did there.

Now, I’ll admit that I haven’t the first clue how much Universal will have ponied-up to for the rights, but it’s bound to be a considerable amount. Atari must be laughin’!

The $200,000,000 adaptation of BATTLESHIP is released in May 2012. Expect ASTEROIDS sometime in 2013.

MONOPOLY; SNAKES AND LADDERS; THE GAME OF LIFE; SPACE INVADERS; CLUEDO; RISK, and many more are all currently in production. I kid you not.

What retro game would you like to see Hollywood throw money down the drain adapting? Let us know with your comments below!