Mattel is taking a page out of their fellow entertainment conglomerate Marvel’s playbook: after the clear and ongoing success of Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, the toy company has confirmed that their planned Polly Pocket film will indeed be going ahead.
Speaking to Variety, Mattel Films producer Robbie Brenner confirmed the film’s script has already been written (and which Brenner promises is “great”), and that it will be directed by Girls creator Lena Dunham, with Emily in Paris star Lily Collins playing the titular Polly.
We don’t yet know what such an adaptation would involve, especially considering Polly isn’t as culturally or symbolically important to the feminist movement as Barbie. All the officially logline reveals is that “the film will centre on a young girl and a pocket-sized woman who form a friendship.”
In any case, Polly Pocket is far from being the weirdest, most absurd film the company has in the works. In fact, it’s just one of fourteen – FOURTEEN – projects in active development, including Barney, Thomas and Friends, and American Girl.
Robbie Brenner also provided updates on these and, honestly, we can’t quite wrap our heads around most of it. There’s Daniel Kaluuya’s purple dinosaur movie (“more like a Being John Malkovich… [it’ll] be more adult and have adult themes — and sort of be a little bit off-kilter.”), a Magic 8-Ball film (“a PG-13 thriller”), the Vin Diesel Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, J.J. Abrams’ Hot Wheels (which has “real emotion and real stakes to it”, Brenner asserts in very Nicki Minaj-on-Barbie fashion). Sadly, she offered no comment on the UNO movie (yes, it’s real).
The existential despair is real, folks.