Well, it’s all been about the Xenomorphs this month, as we prepare ourselves for the hellish ride to paradise in Alien: Covenant, Ridley Scott’s sequel to Prometheus and prequel to his landmark sci-fi/horror Alien. So with this in mind we decided to give the Emporium a decidedly extra-terrorestrial flavour this month, we have given the interiors a Giger-inspired make-over, dosed up on flamethrowers and have more acid-spitting individuals crawling around the place than at the offices of the Daily Mail. Indeed, we love us some Xenomorphs, but what merchandise did we find ourselves drooling corrosive saliva over online? Online nobody can hear you scream but they might hear you squeal with delight as there are some cracking things out there, starting with this Great Gear Store Alien Chestburster Chopstick Set that turns an infamous scene of stomach churning horror into a neat and unexpected opportunity for some noodle eating equipment. But when speaking of making the best out of a deadly predicament they don’t come anymore in your face, or rather on your face, than this mad Etsy Xenomorph Face Hugger knitted Ski Mask that seeks to warm parts of your face without the unwilling impregnation (always a bonus).
We were also very happy to see that the new and gorgeously Giger-cum-Dante black and white poster for Alien: Covenant has already inspired the first of undoubtedly many shirts. Using part of the poster to make for a nice early piece of merchandise for the upcoming film, this shirt by brailsm from Redbubble is a picturesque descent into sci-fi hell, as the Xenomorph stands tall amidst a twisted mass of alien-induced human suffering... business as usual, then. But best of the bunch is an item so eye-catching it has featured in some, well, features online. A cookie jar is always a place of paradise but this grand Alien-inspired cookie jar from Amazon wraps the biscuity goodness of these treats in a horror-ific exterior. Modelled on the Face Hugger eggs in the film, this jar is beautifully designed and complete with a Face Hugger lid. Who said snacking couldn’t get any better?
ALIEN CHESTBURSTER CHOPSTICKS - £10
AVAILABLE AT GREATGEARSTORE.COM
XENOMORPH FACE HUGGER SKI MASK -£49.36
AVAILABLE AT ETSY.COM
ALIEN COVENANT SHIRT -£16.41
AVAILABLE AT REDBUBBLE.COM
ALIEN EGG CERAMIC COOKIE JAR WITH FACE HUGGER LID
AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM
Not a Model Family
While mash-ups remain popular (Batman v. Superman, the upcoming Godzilla vs. King Kong or Piers Morgan vs. Everyone), let us not forget the complicated history the Yautjas and Xenomorphs have together. Whether it is on the page, in video games or on the big screen, the two warring alien races have a violent, chaotic and uncomfortably DNA-spliced history. So, as we await 2018’s new Predator sequel and continue to celebrate Ridley’s plans to expand his Alienverse, why not bring home the most dysfunctional of dysfunctional families (no, not the Kardashians) with the Alien and Predator Figurine Collection from HeroCollector. These 1:16 scale models are produced in frighteningly realistic detail and sure to be treasured by hunters and warriors alike. If, however, you’re of the mind that size is indeed everything, then we ask you to cast your mind back to the Brothers Strause’s critically mauled 2007 film Alien vs. Predator - Requiem. Though it is considered a cancerous boil on the arses of both franchises, this writer actually found fun in this B-movie sci-fi smackdown (yes, really) and over at Amazon the legacy of the (well-designed) PredAlien from Requiem continues with this expensive but exhaustively-realised 16-inch model kit figure that would look show-stealing between any Yautja and Xenomorph figures on your mantle (though you’ll need a Weyland-sized bank balance).
USE PROMOCODE ‘STAR50’ TO GET 50% OF ISSUE 1
AVAILABLE AT ALIENCOLLECTION.HEROCOLLECTOR.COM
PREDALIEN MODEL KIT FIGURE - £860.92
AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.CO.UK