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Robin Askwith • CONFESSIONS

Written By:

Martin Unsworth
inside no 9

Currently enjoying a resurgence in fame with The Madame Blanc Mysteries and a cheeky appearance in the Inside No. 9 finale, cult actor ROBIN ASKWITH is set to go on the road with his one-man show, including a date at Manchester’s FAB Café. We chatted with him to find out what to expect from someone who has done it all, be it working with Pasolini, the Confessions films and STARBURST favourite Horror Hospital…

STARBURST: Your live shows have been a roaring success. How did you get involved with the promoter, Misty Moon?

Robin Askwith: I started working with Misty Moon because I was not a great fan of doing signing conventions as, emotionally, I thought I had more talent than sitting there signing a few photographs for people. I knew I could tell stories. About 12 years ago, I was asked to do a convention at Birmingham, and I didn’t really want to do it. The lady said, “Oh, there’s a guy that wants to meet you called Stuart Morriss, and he’s happy to pay extra money if you will then go to his venue and speak”. That was at the old Misty Moon venue in Ladywell. So I thought, “All right, I’ll do that”. It sold out. We did like a Q&A and I realised then that I wanted to progress it further and I went with Stuart. The real birth of it, though, came from being interviewed at the Festival of Fantastic Films. It went down a storm, so I got the interviewer, Darrell Buxton, to interview me at The Cinema Museum with Linda Hayden [Robin’s co-star in a pair of Confessions films] for a Misty Moon event. It was a great evening. I gradually built enough confidence that I wanted to do the shows on my own, and that’s what I now do.

Britannia Hospital

Now you’ve done so many, how do you choose what stories to tell?

I write a theme, I make a list of stories. I do a whole thing about dead people because I can slander them. I’ve got some set pieces. But then, you never know what happens. One night, I was telling a story about Nigel Davenport. Now you wouldn’t think Nigel Davenport was of any interest to anybody, but I do a very good impersonation of him. It took off for 20 minutes about Nigel Davenport calling everybody a fucking cunt [laughs]. I can say what I like and then sometimes it turns out they’re alive and you can feel the audience going “Hey Robin, they’re alive. You can’t say that”. One time, I was talking about George Layton, so I phoned him up. It’s all set up, obviously. I call him and say, “George! You’re still alive!” This is live on stage and he goes, “Yeah, I’m doing pretty great”. I said, “Oh, that’s a shame… I mean… that’s great! Really good. I’m so pleased you’re alive” [laughs]

That’s hilarious!

Everything can lead into different stories about different actors. I don’t like Q&As. It’s always the same questions; what was Sid James like; did you shag all those birds? So I’ve stopped the regular kind of audience questions. However, venues were getting a bit pissed off because there’s no interval – I literally go on and it’s an hour and a half of madness, I come off exhausted, sell some merch, get a bit pissed, and go home. It’s a set act, yet it builds and builds and when I’m on one, I can’t start again. Still, they would rather have an interval to sell drinks, so I came up with this idea. I was in Rymans and bought a huge piece of white card and a black marker. As I find it very difficult to come off and then build up again, what I do is about an hour of complete mayhem, then I leave this card on the stage with the marker and I say “Look, I don’t do Q&As as you’re fucking boring people, you really are. You’re all the same, you’ve no imagination. But I’m giving you a chance here. Write down questions you’d like me to answer”. And I’ve done it for about a year now, and it’s fantastic. Sometimes both sides of the board are full with questions.

Horror Hospital

What can we expect in November?

Well, the good thing about Manchester is it’s a first timer. You’re going to get the full welly. In London, we have people who come to every show; they seem to like hearing it all again. I’ll tell you what, I usually come on, and I say “Look, there’s the script. I’m putting that down there. And I promise you, I’m not going to veer off that script, right?” And then what happens is I get to about page three and two hours have gone. If people are laughing, they’re laughing. That’s the end of it. I always stay afterwards and sign stuff and whatever.

THE COMPLETE CONFESSIONS Blu-ray box set is out now. Misty Moon presents Robin Askwith on tour in November and December, starting at Manchester’s FAB Café on November 17th and then at various venues, including New Milton, Leeds, and an already-sold-out show in London. You can read more from Robin in the latest issue of STARBURST – order your copy here

Confessions of a Window Cleaner

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