From the fair (Cinderella) to the fairly awful (The Little Mermaid; the further adventures of The Lion King), Disney has a mixed track record when it comes to their live-action remakes. Rachel Zegler headlines the studio’s latest plundering of their catalogue, starring as the original Disney Princess. Entering the woods after being condemned to death by her Wicked Stepmother, she encounters seven Uncanny Valley-dwelling beings who take her in. Evil Queen Gal Gadot is on her trail, though, and will stop at nothing to claw back her crown as the fairest of them all.
‘Princess Problems’ and ‘Waiting on a Wish’ are among the new songs by Dear Evan Hansen men Benji Pasek and Justin Paul, settling in alongside classics ‘Whistle While You Work’ and ‘Heigh-Ho’ to keep the energy up. And there’s a lot bringing it down besides, including Gadot’s performance (so wooden she’ll give you splinters, one deliciously camp villain song aside) and the frequently horrific VFX.
Leading the charge as Snow, Zegler is the film’s shining light (unforgivable Lord Farquaad bob aside), singing and dancing up a storm opposite seven CG abominations and not-Prince Charming Jonathan (Andrew Burnap, giving Flynn Rider vibes). Elsewhere, the 1937 animation’s story is padded out with Snow’s rise to folk hero, uniting the downtrodden masses to overthrow her Stepmum. Spider-Man wrangler Marc Webb does fine work with an unenviable task and, grotesque mine creatures aside (Andrew Barth Feldman’s Dopey is particularly disturbing), he almost makes the colourful action and cheery musical routines work.
This is not exactly a failure when compared to the soullessness of The Lion King and Pinocchio, but it’s far from the heights of the original work either, rarely feeling like more than a cynical money-spinning exercise. Its already dismal reputation is not fully deserved, but nor will the film do much to win over hardened naysayers. No, Disney’s Snow White was doomed from the start, poisoned by behind-the-scenes drama, poor casting decisions, and Internet loudmouths acting in bad faith.
Extolling a story of a nation in uprising against a cruel and murderous regime, its message is a valuable one, marred by messy controversies, ugly visuals, and discourse that’s rotten to the core.
DISNEY’S SNOW WHITE is in cinemas now.
