TV News: Evidence of Dalek Invasion Discovered in Hampshire (Probably)

Written by John Knott Friday, 12 April 2013

TV News

The old football table must have been a surprise; the skateboard less so. It’s shocking what people will dump in Hampshire’s ponds. But we can only guess at the raw fear, passed on at a genetic level through generations of humans, that was felt by the volunteers who stumbled on the weed-covered eye-stalk.

The authorities are obviously wanting to keep a lid on it, so the location has not been revealed (other than being near Beauliu), but we can confirm that the remains of a Dalek have been discovered on Earth. The Dalek head which bobbed up in front of volunteer Marc Oakland appears to be around thirty years old so it is not clear whether this is a trace of an aborted Dalek invasion or whether we are involved in an, as yet unresolved, time-travelling incident involving the merciless mutants’ nefarious strategists.

In an attempt to stem the rising levels of panic, pond warden Tony Brown said “we discovered the BBC often took the Daleks out on location for filming, and they travelled to Hampshire on at least one occasion in the 1980s, when Colin Baker played the Timelord. Who knows, this might be the remains of one of the originals from the old TV series.”

Obviously it is safe to assume Tony is a U.N.I.T. operative spreading disinformation.

“I'm told they were built to last”, he added, chillingly.

You know those people who advertise on telly to buy your gold for cash? They seem to know a bit too much about Cybermen if you ask us.

Starburst advises that you panic-buy bottled water, toilet paper and all the Crunchie bars you can carry.

Source: The Telegraph

Photo Credit: SOLENT

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