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Written by Earl Strider Monday, 14 November 2011

Retro-Bytes

If I did my job properly last month, I conservatively estimate that around 60% of you rushed out and bought a vintage console and are currently tripping balls on pure grade ‘A’ retro fun; an 8-bit eight ball of nostalgia. You’re welcome. Now fix your make up, cover those track marks and lets see if we can’t hook the remaining 40% when I conclude my argument for vintage games.

I’ll start with innovation and a tip o’ the hat to those trail blazers that created something original. But first and as a counterpoint to innovation and originality, let me introduce a gaming genre that has neither, a type of game that since the creation of the medium has displayed roughly the same radical reinvention and creative leaps as toast. The cure for a good time... I present to you, the sports sim.

I’ll happily play most types of games but sports sims are where I draw the line. Even if I don’t enjoy a particular platformer or shooter, there’s usually something to recommend it; an interesting idea or narrative perhaps. Not so with a sports sim. As the rules to football rarely change the story is always the same: kick the ball into the hole, or whatever (never claimed to know much about sports). If you’re a fan of football sims and wander into Gamestation in your United top (tell me how that isn’t cosplay?), the only title in the series you’re interested in is the latest. It’s bound to have the better graphics and physics and EXACTLY the same story as the others in the series. There’s literally nothing to recommend previous incarnations. As a result, sports games multiply on the shelves and in discount bins like a dull, predictable cancer. They outnumber all other (i.e .better) games by a ratio of 5-1. They serve no purpose and have almost no monetary value. What? Exaggerating am I?

5 pence is the going rate for the PS2 game Pro Evolution Soccer 3. A well received game that IGN called a ‘truly realistic, immersive and a delightfully playable take on the beautiful game’. Really? Then why’s it 5p? Don’t say it’s because it’s old: I can’t get a PS2 copy of Ico or an NES Mario Brothers for that price. In fact, the mere inclusion of the game devalues the case, as empty ones are sold in the same shop for a pound!

I actively hate all sports games and their shitty sequels with the kind of zero tolerance intensity that would lead the casual observer to ponder if perhaps my parents were slain by Kevin Keegan with a tennis racket on a golf course. They’re a blight on the collectors market and have done nothing to advance gaming. Exceptions to this rule are rare and can be counted on the fingers of one finger:

In 1958, American Physicist William Higginbotham created the world’s first computer game. A sports sim called Tennis for Two. It took only three weeks to build after just two hours of planning and was created to relieve the boredom to Brookhaven National Laboratory where Higginbothan worked. Tennis for Two was built out of spare parts and an oscilloscope for the display. Unlike PONG, 14 years later, It was a side view of the court, had multiple sounds and was pretty damn smooth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PG2mdU_i8k

The following year, Higginbotham, eager to prove that the success of Tennis for Two wasn’t a fluke, created a new game. It was a sequel...

Dickish sequel aside, the fact that a single person was responsible for the creation of the computer game is significant and was an example that would be followed throughout the early days of gaming. Hobby programmers and small teams of socially awkward enthusiasts are responsible for some of the biggest innovations and most beloved games of all time. Tetris for example is one of the most popular games of all time. It was created in the early ‘80s by Alexey Pajitnov. Variations have been released on every console since and has been downloaded to phones an amazing 130 million times in the last 6 years. Easy to play, impossible to master. Unless you’re this guy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwC544Z37qo

Holy Shit!

Innovation and originality in old titles was partly because gaming was a new medium, if you were writing a new game chances were something in it hadn’t been done before. People accidentally innovated. It was also partly because if you could write code you could create a game. if that game was good you could sell it. There was no slavish following of trends or chasing the market, it was an environment of creativity and de facto innovation.

It’s reassuring that history seems to be repeating itself in this area, and with the advent of user friendly code and multiple delivery methods the independent and home brewed games are once again on the rise. The chances are, when you were last in the toilet, straining to earn that ‘double flush’, you were playing a game on your smart phone; side scrollers, platformers, shooters - they’re all making an old school comeback in a big way. The graphics are better and the device is more convenient, but it shares more than a little in common with those first games on the Atari or Amiga. You might be playing a port of Tetris or Pac-Man but chances are, you’re playing Angry Birds.

Angry Birds, released by Rovio, a small independent company recently exceeded half a billion downloads. To compare that to the most popular games on consoles is a little unfair, so I won’t. But if I did, I would say that more people have Angry Birds than there have been copies sold of the Mario Brothers, the GTA series and Zelda games combined. Did I mention it was only released 2 years ago?

While these games are, for the most part simple physics based puzzlers, the fact they can be made so quickly and cheaply has created an environment that encourages experimentation and trial and error. Even if the inspiration and appearance is of a simple shooter, innovations are already happening. Check out BRAID, a download for the XBOX 360. The 8 bit platforming appearance belies a game of such marvelous originality and complexity that I can’t recommend it highly enough.

The biggest reason I collect is for that sweet, sweet hit of nostalgia. As my waistline advances and my hairline retreats I find myself increasing misty eyed and nostalgic for the things I did in my youth.

Funny thing, nostalgia. It means exactly the same and something totally different to everyone. While on a bus recently I overheard a conversation about favorite childhood movies between a couple of 20-somethings. The Nutty Professor and Mrs. Doubtfire seemed to come out on top. That took me a minute to compute. Had they never seen E.T.? How could any list of childhood movies be complete with out Back to the Future or Ghostbusters?

As a child I watched films on a loop, to this day the 20th Century Fox fanfare seems strangely incomplete without the rousing opening notes of John William’s Star Wars score. I know every beat, every line of dialogue from Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Princess Bride. Where is this generation’s Ferris Bueller?! It would be like compiling a list of your favorite childhood shows and not including Mysterious Cities of Gold or Ulysses 31. Unthinkable! But that’s how nostalgia works I suppose. Still, can’t help but feel my generation got the better end of the deal.

But just as strong as my memories of movies and TV was gaming. Hitting a game I’ve not played in 20 years evokes memories so fresh and vivid. I’m transported back to the ‘80s. I could mainline Um Bongo while sniffing the gum from a freshly cracked pack of Garbage Pail Kids cards and while fun, it wouldn’t come close to the supreme nostalgic power of: Yie Ar Kung Fu or Monkey Magic on the C16 or Green Beret and Impossible Mission on the C64. It’s like meeting a friend you’ve not seen in years. He might not have aged that well but you remember the times you shared and the fun you had.

A huge amount of my memories are of Christmas mornings. Did Santa get my letter? The culmination of months of anticipation and excitement exploding into pure joy. This was me on most Christmas mornings:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFlcqWQVVuU

There was the odd blip however. In 1990 for example, Father Christmas didn’t leave the Super Nintendo I’d wanted and it wasn’t like I’d kept it a secret, I’d written numerous letters to the North Pole. He knew alright. I noted he’d still eaten the mince pie though, I was livid!

I rounded on the gifts he had left with the contempt and vitriol they deserved, stomping on them with all the power my little slippered feet could muster then ran up to my room screaming ‘THIS IS BULLSHIT!”. I could hear mum crying through the floor, no doubt sharing my outrage at being screwed over by that fat, jolly asshole.

After a while, my Mother’s anguished cries tapered to low sobs and I’d calmed down enough to retract the middle fingers I had been pointing defiantly towards the North Pole. On reflection, it was unfortunate that The Sacred Heart Church obscured my view to the North (the disruption I caused to their nativity play was unintentional and regretful).

I went back downstairs to survey the damage.

My gifts were mostly salvageable; Dad glued Optimus Prime back together while Mum coaxed my new puppy, Misty, out from behind the rear wheel of my new mountain bike.

My parents looked crest fallen but had to agree that, yes, Santa had got it very wrong this year. They tried to placate me by promising a SNES for my next Birthday. But that was four whole months away! An almost impossibly long time to an 18 year old.