CLASSROOM 6

PrintE-mail Written by Ian White

TV reporter Annie Monroe (Valentina Kolaric) leads her camera crew into the ominous Classroom 6, a schoolroom that is rumoured to be a portal into Hell. A teacher and his student have recently disappeared (the teacher was lecturing ‘Witchcraft and Black Magic 101’ so maybe their disappearances shouldn’t be a surprise) and the Psychic Annie, who has been brought on board to help them investigate, is immediately nervous, prowling the school corridors and insisting, “Something bad happened here.” But what was it, and will Annie and her team make it through the evening alive?

Okay, first the good news. Even though this is yet another Blair Witch Project meets Paranormal Activity rip-off, it actually starts out pretty well. When the school principal tells Annie about the history of Classroom 6 it’s a genuinely effective build-up, and any school that is open-minded enough to have witchcraft and black magic on its curriculum is a place we’d like to go. Even the paint-by-numbers gibberish about mirrors reflecting off mirrors and creating pathways for ghosts sounds briefly engaging, and who doesn’t love a Psychic who falls back on the old ‘let’s make contact with tennis balls’ shtick? So, that’s the first ten minutes taken care of.

But then the story implodes like a giant Marshmallow man after a bad night out with the Ghostbusters. Nothing happens for a huge amount of time, apart from a video camera inexplicably tipping over onto its side (the camera apparently only works because the spirits want it to) and our heroine is spooked out by a weird whiny noise. The dialogue becomes even more ludicrous and portentous, Annie grows increasingly more hysterical and the cinematography (such as it is) becomes substantially more spinny and juddery. By the time Annie decides to leave an obituary on the camera and all the screaming starts, you’ll probably be checking your navel for pizza crumbs. If by any chance you’re still watching the film, you should win a prize. 

So, is all the climactic chaos worth staying awake for?

Sadly, not so much.

Other reviewers have called Classroom 6 “genuinely eerie” and “chilling, like [Rec]” but, personally speaking, this reviewer has watched episodes of Scooby Doo that induced the heebie-jeebs worse than this. All you’ll be left with after the final fade-out, is a nasty case of motion sickness and the nagging feeling you should have done something else with the last hour-and-a-bit, like grab some tennis balls and locate your very own portal to the darkside. Absolutely hellish (but not in a good way) this is yet another found-footage fail.

CLASSROOM 6 / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: JONAS ODENHEIMER / STARRING: VALENTINA KOLARIC, MAURICE MEJIA, VINCE MAJOR / RELEASE DATE: 6TH JUNE




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