DESECRATED

PrintE-mail Written by Joel Harley

DVD REVIEW: DESECRATED / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: ROB GARCIA / SCREENPLAY: CECIL CHAMBERS / STARRING: HAYLIE DUFF, WILMER CALDERON, MICHAEL IRONSIDE, GIB GERARD / RELEASE DATE: TBC

A backwoods horror film starring one of the Duff sisters (not even the good one) alongside a host of obnoxious kids being bumped off by a murderous psychopath? This low-budget cabin in the woods movie (minus the cabin) should have viewers everywhere suffering from a serious bout of deja vu.

Not only is it reminiscent of literally hundreds of other backwoods horror films, it's also remarkably similar to star Haylie Duff's last horror effort, Backwoods (a TV horror feature every bit as imaginative as its title) – the only real difference here being a refreshing lack of rapey vibes and the substitution of an inbred hillbilly family for a crazed ex-Marine running around the woods dressed like Sam Fisher. Ironside doesn't even play the crazed Sam Fisher type in question.

One by one, our pretty young heroes are knocked off, their demise almost guaranteed after two of their number break into Crazed Sam Fisher's old trailer and have sex in there, right in front of the pulped remains of his wife and daughter. Hence the 'desecration' of the title. With the killer's identity being revealed in the very early stages of the movie, there's no mystery or intrigue to watching the kids wander off to get caught or killed by him – and that they don't twig on to his evil until the final act makes them seem even stupider in our eyes. And they're already pretty stupid looking. In theory, Ironside should be injecting a shot of class, but the man is wasted as Duff's onscreen father, seeming incredibly bored for every moment of his scant screen time. To be fair, we can sympathise. While the acting is a cut above what you'd expect from a straight-to-DVD horror film of this vintage, the dialogue is awful. The characters mostly run about the woods screaming insults or 'banter' at one another, such drama apparently only being present so as to bulk up the script and fill time until the end.

And oh, how prolonged that time-filling feels. Desecrated is like every budget backwoods horror film you've ever seen, balled up into one, without any invention or ideas of its own. It's as by-the-numbers as horror filmmaking gets. No doubt the filmmakers' intentions were noble, but their movie certainly isn't. Desecrated, sadly, is utter duff. And not even the good one.

Special Features: TBC
 

SHARE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW OR ON TWITTER @STARBURST_MAG

Find your local STARBURST stockist HERE, or buy direct from us HERE. For our digital edition (available to read on your iOS, Android, Amazon, Windows 8, Samsung and/or Huawei device - all for just £1.99), visit MAGZTER DIGITAL NEWSSTAND.

CLICK TO BUY!

MORE FROM AROUND THE WEB:



Suggested Articles:
Juan Piquer Simón is an unheralded icon of low budget horror movies. The Spanish director was respo
There’s something about film festivals that induces far more extreme reactions than normal in audi
Big old houses. On the one hand, great - impress your mates with all that space to spread themselv
Laura is the definitive popular girl, surrounded by grounded friends, a hunky surfer boyfriend and
scroll back to top

Add comment

Security code
Refresh

Other articles in DVD / Blu-ray Reviews

SLUGS 29 September 2016

BITE 29 September 2016

WOLF CREEK - THE COMPLETE FIRST SERIES 28 September 2016

DARLING 27 September 2016

FRIEND REQUEST 27 September 2016

PATHS OF GLORY (1957) 27 September 2016

THE EVIL IN US 27 September 2016

CONSUMPTION 27 September 2016

DARK MATTER SEASON 2 27 September 2016

MINISCULE: VALLEY OF THE LOST ANTS 26 September 2016

- Entire Category -

Sign up today!
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner
Banner