Tales From The Crypt

Written by Cleaver Patterson Sunday, 14 August 2011

The Fright of Your Life - by Cleaver Patterson

Ralph and Enid Jason have everything.  A beautiful home, beautiful art and furniture, beautiful clothes, beautiful friends.  In fact, all said, life is beautiful.  Until one day Ralph returns from a visit to his solicitor, Charles Gregory, with some disturbing news - due to an unfortunate business deal, they have lost everything.  They're broke!

Ralph:  So there's nothing else for it. We have to sell.  Oh I know it's a blow, our whole life's in them, everything we've collected all over the world.

Enid crosses to a sideboard and picks up a particularly ornate jade statue.

Enid:  I remember that one.  We got it in that strange shop in Hong Kong that you were selling guns to.  Do you remember what the little man in the shop said when he sold it to us?

Ralph:  Yes. Use it wisely.  I wonder what he meant by that?

Enid:  Have you ever seen the writing that's inscribed around the bottom of this statuette?

Ralph:  Writing?

Enid:  Yes.  Here at the base.

Ralph picks up the statue and peers at the writing.

Ralph:  "Three wishes I give to you and no more.  Each owner of me, so keep score.  Each wish will come true, so take care what you do".  I can't read the rest but the last word is deplore.

Enid:  Well what does it all mean?

Ralph:  Use it wisely. 

Enid:  If only it could give us three wishes. 

Ralph:  Story book nonsense.  But it reminds me of a tale I once heard ... 'The Monkey's Paw'.  I read it when I was at school...

However Enid has lost interest in Ralph's story.  Suddenly she begins to imagine that if they really could make three wishes they could solve their financial problems.  But of course she knows it's all make-believe.  Even so...

Enid:  I wish for lots and lots of money!

Ralph:  No, no ........!

Enid:  Too late, I already have. 

Ralph:  And I've just remembered what happened at the end of the story. 

Enid:  Well you said yourself it's just a story, like our three wishes.

The phone rings and Ralph goes to answer it.  After a brief conversation he replaces the receiver.

Ralph:  That's Charles.  He wants me to go and see him straight away.  Something about money.

As Ralph leaves the house, Enid picks up the statue and looks at it puzzlingly.

Enid:  Maybe our wish will come true after all.

Ralph takes the main route into town, winding it's way along long stretches of isolated, country roads.  After a few minutes he notices that a black clad motorcyclist has been following him since he pulled out of his driveway, and is now closing in on him.  As they mount the brow of a hill the motorcyclist pulls up to the bumper of Ralph's car and raises its head into full view.  The shock that Ralph sees in his rear view mirror is his last ...... 

After being told by the police that Ralph has been killed in a car accident, Charles agrees that he should break the news to Enid.  Going straight to her house he tells her, explaining that Ralph's death makes her a very rich woman due to his life insurance policy.  Suddenly Enid is wracked with guilt.  She shows Charles the statue and explains that she had wished for lots and lots of money. She then asks him if he knows the story of 'The Monkey's Paw'?  Charles says yes, explaining that in the story an old couple used the monkey's paw to wish for money, which they then get because their son is killed in an accident in his factory.  The mother in the story wishes her son back to life, but he comes back in the way that he was killed, horribly mangled and mutilated.  Charles pleads with Enid not to use any of the remaining wishes to bring Ralph back, but she dismisses his concerns saying that she'll wish Ralph back as he was immediately before his accident.

There is a sudden knock at the front door, which is opened by four pallbearers carrying Ralph's coffin.

Enid:  Open it. Quickly!

Charles:  No no, don't look.  His body was mangled in the crash.

One of the pallbearers turns to face them.

Pallbearer:  Mangled?  It wasn't mangled.  Mr Jason died of a heart attack at the wheel.

Enid:  I wished him back as he was immediately before the accident.  But he was already dead from a heart attack so the accident didn't kill him.

Enid and Charles open the coffin to find Ralph perfectly preserved, if a little grey around the gills.  Enid persuades Charles to leave, saying that she wants to be alone with Ralph.  She then crosses to the sideboard and picks up the statue.

Enid:  Please, please.  I wish that Ralph were alive now.  I don't want him to die ever.  I want him moving, breathing, talking, alive.  Now, forever!

Behind her is a scraping sound as the coffin lid is pushed open, and Ralph's arms emerge.  But all is not well as Ralph screams and writhes, his face contorted in agony.  Enid's shouts bring Charles racing back.

Charles:  What's happened?  What have you done?

Enid:  I wished him alive again, forever!

Charles:  But don't you realise.  He's been embalmed.  His insides are filled with embalming fluid, burning into him.

Enid:  Oooh no.  Nooo!

Ralph:  Ennnnid.  Dooo something...

Overcome with the horror of what she has done Enid runs across the room and pulls an ornate, ceremonial sword from a wall display.  Coming back to the coffin she begins, despite Charles' shock and protestations, to hack Ralph's body to pieces.  Sickened by what he is witnessing Charles stumbles back against a wall.

Charles:  But don't you see?  You wished him alive forever.  You can't kill him, every piece of him is alive still.  Alive and suffering forever...

TALES FROM THE CRYPT

AMICUS GB

1972   92 mins

Director: Freddie Francis; Producers: Charles Fries, Milton Subotsky, Max Rosenberg; Writers: Johnny Craig, Al Feldstein, William M Gaines (comic book stories 'Tales From The Crypt' and 'Vault of Horror'), Milton Subotsky (screenplay); Cinematography: Norman Warwick; Music: Douglas Gamley.

Cast: Ralph Jason (Richard Greene), Enid Jason (Barbara Murray), Charles Gregory (Roy Dotrice), Secretary (Jane Sofiano), Detective (Hedger Wallace), Pallbearer (Peter Thomas)

'This particular choice of how this version of “Paw” plays out is very good in that the wishes aren’t quite the same as that in the short story, even taking a distinctly gory turn in the final wish. Its biggest flaw though… is that it BEATS THE VIEWER OVER THE HEAD with the fact that it’s a “Paw” adaptation. In fact, two separate characters mention the story itself, taking away quite a bit from its originality' - Best-Horror-Movies.com

'This is one of the better anthology horror films out there. The tales are based on comic book stories from E.C. Comics. Generally, the format of each story is pretty standard; a man or woman who has just committed a dastardly act is treated to a horrific comeuppance; only the fourth story here (a variation on "The Monkey's Paw") doesn't quite fit the pattern' - Fantastic Movie Musings & Ramblings (David Sindelar)

' ....... thanks to Milton Subotsky's script and Freddie Francis' direction, this comes off as a fun-filled horror film' - John Stanley's Creature Features Movie Guide Strikes Again

Some pictures simply haunt you.  They don't require words, or explanation.  Their very existence is enough to scare you to death - literally in the case of the skeletal biker from 'Wish You Were Here', the third instalment of Amicus' Tales From The Crypt.  Even in real life a crash helmet visor can be unsettling.  What hides beneath its clouded glass?  Male, female, ugly, beautiful?  You don't know until it's lifted, and imagine your shock if what confronted you were the cavernous eye sockets and exposed, gum-less teeth of a skeleton.

I don't remember when or where I first saw the hollow cheeked motorcycle courier with his deadly message - probably in a book or magazine.  When I eventually saw it in situ in the film, the surrounding story and reasons for it being there only served to make it all the more unsettling.

However what comes later is even worse.  As if the grisly cause of death wasn't bad enough, imagine being wished back to life, then having to endure eternal torment by being burnt from the inside out by corrosive embalming fluid with no hope of escape from this agonising torture - talk about a living hell!  And how about Enid's guilt, knowing she is responsible for wishing this upon her beloved Ralph.

Hammer had cornered the market in period horror during the 1960s and 1970s. If any other studio was to have a look in they'd have to take a different approach.  And that's where Amicus came up trumps, with their portmanteau shockers, starting with Dr Terror's House of Horrors in 1965.  Placing ordinary people in contemporary settings, and feasible (to a point) situations, made the horror all the worse when it finally hit, often in a grisly finale.  Some of the stories, though a little far fetched, were believable, as in the final segment of Tales From The Crypt.  The revenge meted out by the unfortunate inhabitants of a home for the blind upon the sadistic superintendent may have stretched credibility, however their method of vengeance could feasibly happen.  Others were pure fantasy, as was the case with 'Wish You Were Here'.  However, the reasons behind Enid's actions and those of most of the stories protagonists in Amicus' films were understandable.  The viewer could relate in some way to the situations or predicaments in which the characters found themselves, and this is what made the stories all the more shocking.

Taking its basis from the short story 'The Monkey's Paw' by W W Jacobs, originally published in 1902, 'Wish You Were Here' gives a new emphasis to the expression 'be careful what you wish for'.  In the original story its moral is simple and best summed up by the description of the said paw:  "It had a spell put on it by an old fakir," said the sergeant- major, "a very holy man. He wanted to show that fate ruled people's lives, and that those who interfered with it did so to their sorrow."

If Edith had known Jacob's story well enough she might have thought twice about invoking the inscription carved into the base of one of her favourite 'objets d'art.  However which of us couldn't in some way relate to the predicament in which she and Ralph find themselves, broke and desperate for money (especially in today's economically stringent times).  Whether or not you'd resort to dabbling in the occult as a means of alleviating the problem is another matter, but who can tell what extremes you'd go to when your back's against the wall.  Just beware of any jade statues you might come across in your local junk shop!