The Thirteenth Reunion - Hammer House of Horror

Written by Cleaver Patterson Friday, 14 October 2011

The Fright of Your Life - by Cleaver Patterson

Ruth Cairns works for the women's page of a local newspaper.  Bored with writing about the latest fashions and beauty products for middle-aged, home counties wives, she dreams of being a hard nosed, investigative journalist.  So when her editor Gwen assigns her to visit a mysterious health farm which is having miraculous results with its new weight loss programme, Ruth sees an opportunity for a story which could finally get her the newsroom job she has always wanted.

Ruth's investigations at the health farm uncover a connection with a local undertakers, where bodies of people killed in suspicious road accidents are mysteriously disappearing.  Following a hearse one day from the undertakers Ruth ends up back at the health farm!  Later that night whilst spying on the farm, she sees its director load what looks like a body bag into his car and drive off.  Following him she arrives at a large country house, which she lets herself into.  Whilst searching the rooms she stumbles upon a party where, instead of being being treated as a trespasser she is welcomed by the host, Sir Humphrey Chesterton, and introduced to the other guests.  One called Joan is particularly welcoming, making Ruth feel at her ease (relatively speaking). 

Joan:  Bit frightening aren't they.  When I first came I was absolutely petrified. But they're not a bad lot really when you get to know them.

Ruth:  You're a friend of Sir Humphrey?

Joan:  I know what you're thinking. You're thinking what's a common looking woman like that doing in a posh house like this.

Ruth:  No, I wasn't. I assure you...

Joan:  Of course you were. It's all right love. I still can't believe it myself after all this time. Joan Hubbard from Bolton hobnobbing with the gentry.  Do you know I still have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming?

Their conversation turns to how the guests met.  Two years previously, they were all involved in a plane crash on a journey from London to Marrakech.  The survivors now meet once a month, to remember those who did not survive the horrific experience.  Ruth remembers the incident as it had made news headlines at the time.

Ruth:  How long was it before they found you, two weeks?

Joan:  Two and a half.

Ruth:  Amazing. The papers said it was a miracle.  The search parties had given up hope of finding anyone alive.

Joan:  They shouldn't have done. It's extraordinary how canny people can be when they're up against it.  The things they can bring themselves to do ...

The guests go into dinner, during which the conversation turns to marriage.  It emerges that Sir Humphrey's wife died in a riding accident, and when they discover that Ruth is also single one of the guests jokes that perhaps Sir Humphrey and Ruth should get together.

Sir Humphrey:  I don't think our tastes would coincide.

Ruth:  Why do you say that?  You don't even know me.

Sir Humphrey:  True. But with such an age gap I think there may also be a credibility gap.  I'm a creature of habit my dear and I think you may find some of mine a little eccentric.

Joan:  I'm sure she'd come to share them Humphrey, in time.

Sir Humphrey:  I doubt it.  I doubt anyone could share them who hasn't had to make a virtue of necessity.

The conversation is cut short by the arrival of the main course served on a large silver platter.  As Sir Humphrey begins to sharpen the carving knife, each guest licks their lips with a greedy glint in their eyes.  At last, just as the lid is being lifted from the platter, Ruth can take no more.

Ruth:  Nooo!

Sir Humphrey:  Something the matter my dear?

Ruth:  Oh I think you're all disgusting!

As Ruth flees from the room one of the guests asks whether it's wise to let her leave?

Sir Humphrey:  If she wants to go that's her funeral.  Incidentally, I hope you can all stay the night because tomorrow I think I can promise you a very special meal...

The Thirteenth Reunion - Hammer House of Horror

ITC Entertainment  GB

1980   51 mins

Director: Peter Sasdy; Writer: Jeremy Burnham (Screenplay); Director of Photography: Frank Watts; Original Music: John McCabe

Cast: Ruth Cairns (Julia Foster), Joan Hubbard (Barbara Keogh), Sir Humphrey Chesterton (Richard Pearson), Gwen Cox (Dinah Sheridan)

'This is a really good episode; keeping you guessing up until the last five/six minutes when it instantly becomes obvious what is going to happen and the mood of the piece changes from one of possible horror to a pitch black comedy. The cast is well placed in each role and the final dinner party, and the faces and remarks of each guest present, is a classic bit of comedy with a wonderful final line' - thedigitalfix (Eamonn McCusker)

'All of the episodes seemed to have a footing in contemporary rural England, were generally played straight and, interestingly, each seemed to finish on a downbeat ending, often with the forces of evil triumphant' - Television Heaven (David May)

After it's demise in the mid 1970's Hammer Studios had one last burst of life during the early 1980's, before it disappeared for good (at least until it's recent, and dubious, resurrection).  Hammer House of Horror, the studios brief foray into television managed, occasionally, to capture the atmosphere and inventiveness for which their film productions had been famous. This was often due to the fact that many who'd worked on the films were also involved with the new television venture.  Hammer lynchpins like Peter Cushing (who starred in the episode The Silent Scream) made appearances, whilst such production staff as The Thirteenth Reunion's director Peter Sasdy had been responsible for some of the studio's classic horrors (in his case 1971's Countess Dracula).

They also drew on a wide range of current television and film stars, giving the series a more accessible and relevant feel to the contemporary viewer.  The Thirteenth Reunion's star Julia Foster, though actually in her late 30's at the time, was suitably feisty as the eager young cub reporter, whilst doyenne of British theatre and film Dinah Sheridan exuded a suitably matron like air as Ruth's editor - one could only hope that she felt suitably remorseful for sending her young protégé to her death.

However the real secret behind Hammer House of Horror's success was that its stories were set in the real world, even if some of the predicaments in which the characters found themselves were totally unbelievable.  Ones like the creepy Children of the Full Moon starring the legendary Diana Dors as a mother to a brood of werewolf children, were totally over-the-top and as a result never did much more than send a shiver down the spine.  But stories like The House that Bled to Death involving the tangled story of a couple who stage various grotesque and 'inexplicable' events in their new house in order to make money are the best because they could, at a stretch, actually happen.

Such was the case with The Thirteenth Reunion, one of the most memorable in the series.  There's nothing paranormal about what's going on, it's purely down to the warped 'tastes' of the individuals involved.  As you watch the climax you cannot believe that the guests of the bizarre 'dinning club' hope to get away with what they are doing.  However, as almost without exception, none of the stories in the series end happily, it's not giving much away to say that a local 'hack' (and not the newspaper type) cuts Ruth's front page story dead - literally, and the group of culinary freaks could, and possibly still are, sitting down to their monthly cannibalistic feast.